Too fat. Too skinny. Too muscly. Who the bloody hell decided it was okay for everyone to have an opinion on who was ‘too’ what?
I was so annoyed yesterday at the gym. There is somebody who attends the same gym as me and is there every morning religiously. Yesterday this person decided to try a fitness class that they don’t normally attend. After the class I overheard a conversation which went as follows:
“What did you think of that, did you find it hard?”
“Yeah, it was okay actually”
“I thought you might have struggled because you’re a bag of bones, there’s nothing of you” The person this conversation was aimed at held their own fantastically and put this person in their place despite usually coming across as a nervous character.
How on earth someone would think it would be okay to say such a thing is beyond me. I highly doubt this same person would have gone up to somebody overweight after the class and said “did you find that hard because you’re overweight?” so how it is any different saying it to someone who is of a slimmer build? Body shaming is critical comments about ANY shape.
If a slim person says they don’t like their body the answer is NOT “ohh but you’re so skinny” or “I’d love to be as skinny as you”. They’re allowed to not like their body despite you thinking you can have an opinion on it Sharon! You can ask them what they specifically don’t like and offer them help and advice if they want it, you can be supportive and understanding instead of being an ignorant fuck.
If a larger person says they don’t like their body don’t assume they’re talking about their weight and start offering dieting advice. “Ohhh have you tried fasting?” Fuck off Sue. They could be talking about the fact they have small/big boobs, that they have weird elbows or that they have two heads but you’d never notice because you can’t see past their weight and your own narrow mind can you Sue?
If someone is into fitness the comments are “I bet she only eat’s salads”, “She looks too muscly” and “She looks manly”. Who on earth gave everyone the right to make these judgements about everyone else?
How do you know people aren’t ill and that’s why they look that way? How do you know what that persons life involves? How do you know that person doesn’t go home and cry themselves to sleep every night because they hate themselves? How do you know that it took that person everything they had just to get out of bed this morning? How do you know that person doesn’t love their body and doesn’t want to change a single thing about it? How do you know that person hasn’t worked endlessly to look exactly the way they do? How dare you assume what a person is by their body? And don’t you ever assume you’re better than someone based on looks, because that just makes you an arsehole.
I know a lot of people reading this will be as furious at body shaming as I am, and these words aren’t aimed at you, but the people who are still doing this whether consciously or not. It’s time to make a change and let everyone know that body shaming is not okay.
We are all built different shapes and sizes, we all have different aspirations and dreams, different lives we are living. Healthy looks different on everyone. Somebody could be considered to have a stereotypical healthy looking body, but be completely unhealthy mentally. Somebody could be slim, but surviving on junk food, somebody could weigh a little more but use fresh homegrown ingredients every day. Healthy means something different to everyone. The sooner people realise that and that their small minded opinions are irrelevant the better.
So, next time you go to make a comment on someones weight or appearance, think is it necessary, is it kind, is it needed? You may think you’re just making a passing comment, but think deeper and try to understand, let’s try to change this judgemental world we live in, one less body shaming comment at a time.